Monthly Critique – Share Your Thoughts on This Image
This month’s DPS Writers’ Critique is a submission from DPS reader D. Travis North. In a recent interview I conducted, he explained a bit of his photography background.
“I am a professional Landscape Architect in the Philadelphia Area (born and raised here too). Photography has been a hobby of mine since 1994 after two classes in high school. My career choice and my place of residence has had a strong influence on my photography. I have a strong interest in the photography of landscapes and architecture. In particular, I’m interested in the details – the elements that help to define a space. But I try to branch out as much as possible to explore the world around me through the lens.”
The photo I selected, above, is titled Lonely Journey and the full size image can be found on his photography website under the places category.
And now for this month’s DPS Writers’ Critiques
Helen Bradley - I love this image. It’s a very compelling image with the silhouetted figure at the end of the brick tunnel. I like the way that you have captured the light on one of the cement paths so that the viewer is really drawn into this image. I also like the sense of movement in the subject taking a step forward into the light.
My issues with the photograph are in the post-production area. I would spot the image particularly on the right side where there are three very obvious light spots on the wall. I’d also consider spotting the very light areas on the left side of the wall as I find them a little bit distracting. They can easily be removed with a tool like the spot healing brush.
I’d also like to see how different the image might have been with the light area of the image just a little less overexposed so that it showed just a little more detail. If you capture in RAW, chances are that this detail may be in the RAW file and can be extracted from it and blended into this version.
However, all that said, this is a very pleasing composition, well done.
Jim Goldstein – I think this photo is quite solid for what it is. This photo has a nice retro feel with the noise/grain. The composition and use of stark contrast focuses my eye directly to the woman at the end of the tunnel. Subtle elements of the photo like the woman’s foot being raised as she walks is quite nice. I’m also fond of the layering created by the detail in the foreground and background. The extremes of dark and light in addition to the textures of the street and walls work well for a B&W photo. I’m not one to nit pick on such things but if I had to come up with an item to improve upon it would be to keep an eye open for what background elements might intersect with your point of focus. In this case there is a branch in the background that just touches the top of the woman’s head. It doesn’t impact my enjoyment of the photo, but if you’re looking for perfection that might be an area to work on. Keep up the great work Travis.
Barrie Smith – Nice shot but I think it could be improved by cropping the top and left edge. This way the eye would be led diagonally up and left.
Peter West Carey – What drew me initially to this photo was the simplicity. Even the fact that the subject is smack dab in the middle (horizontally). I enjoy the journey through the shot with the shuttered door on the left lending a bit of air to the scene, as if we are entering some place private. Like Helen and Jim, I enjoy the action of the scene, however simple, as the foot is raised and the body canted in what shows to me as a slow plod, adding depth to the main character of the story. I also love the bright brick, or possibly wood, that leads to the woman and how the light is just right for it to be a highlight.
What bothers me, slightly, is the end of the tunnel. I believe some of the detail should be removed by dodging unneeded far objects. The branches make a nice natural contrast between stone work and nature, but there’s some clutter at the end of the tunnel (no metaphor intended!). Also, the shutter on the door to the left are brighter than I prefer and can be toned down a little with some burning possibly.
I’d like to thank Travis for allowing his image to be used for this critique and opening himself up to the Internet’s opinions. If you have further comments you’d like to add, please feel free to post them in the comments section below. And when you get a chance, take a moment to browse some of Travis’ other images at D. Travis North Photography.
38 Responses to “Monthly Critique – Share Your Thoughts on This Image” - Add Yours
August 19th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Well I am no professional photographer. I like silhouette. But the are too much space to the upper right. But I am not sure if cropped would work.
August 19th, 2009 at 1:07 am
I’m going to agree with Barrie Smith, cutting large chunks off the top and left would improve this image’s composition greatly (in my opinion).
Personally, I don’t really like too much solid black. A little bit of extra detail in the tunnel would’ve been nice.
I like how the woman is running on a stripe of light though.
August 19th, 2009 at 1:31 am
I think it’s a great shot. One thing I probably would have done is leveled the horizon. To me the photo looks slightly tilted towards the left.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:23 am
I really liked the image and would leave it exactly the way it is. “Leveling” it would, IMO, actually make it seem canted. The light at the end of the tunnel is intense, but I love the effect. The oddities of the light spots on the right and the apparent doorway on the left give the image a sense of reality that would be lost if they were eliminated. Making an image too perfect makes it unreal – OK in its place, but I wouldn’t want it here.
Great shot.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Picturesque!
Would have been better if centralized. And if cover area was minimized.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:50 am
I like the photo the way it is also. It’s like this woman’s everyday routine frozen in time. IMO if the items at the end of the tunnel near the light area were less vivid it would seem like she was walking into the proverbial “light” instead of maybe her everyday route home. When I saw the picture I immediately thought up a story about the woman whose family has moved on and her husband has died. She’s on her way home from a job she enjoys but doesn’t exactly leave much room for luxuries all of which leaves her tired and in no hurry to get to her empty house. She has lived in the city for so long she knows these little alleyways and tunnels that make her walk more interesting yet in the figurative sense the darker part of the tunnel is her family that she doesn’t want to leave and the lighter end is the time she will move forward to and be with her husband again.
But you know, that’s my overactive imagination and that’s what the photo conveys to me. So I would not change it.
August 19th, 2009 at 3:25 am
I think the door like thing on the left foreground is distracting, it disrupts the flow of the brick wall….everything else is good…
August 19th, 2009 at 3:34 am
It is a good shot. I agree with the point about not having the end of the tunnel quite so overexposed. Otherwise, nice and simple but with a good message. Well done.
August 19th, 2009 at 3:44 am
The black area is, in my opinion, very important because it makes the sense of going/arriving.
August 19th, 2009 at 4:33 am
I don’t think it’s a great image, but if it were mine this is what I’d do to it. You can see it at http://twitpic.com/edhnd To me, it looks far more dynamic – and a better picture – when it’s cropped. Also agree, it would benefit from cleaning up some of the white ‘spots’
August 19th, 2009 at 4:36 am
A fabulous image, but what really confused me at first was what those vertical blind-looking things on the left were. When first viewing the image, I found these to be a big distraction because, 1) they are brighter than the rest of the dark tunnel, and 2) they are vertical lines which do not lead the eye to the person. All other lines lead straight to the end of the tunnel except for these. Knowing that it’s a door now doesn’t really help in my opinion because the lines are still perpendicular to everything else.
The idea above, of cropping the image is on the right track but wouldn’t work because then you loose all the terrific black space of the dark tunnel which is one of the key elements that make this image “feel” so lonely. Instead, I would like to see the same image re-composed, without the door.
Positively speaking, one of the things that make this image great is the light falling on the right-side wall. This adds tremendous depth to the image–the transition from light to dark and to light again. Without this, the shot would fall flat and loose much of the emotion it contains.
The timing of the shot is also perfect. A little later and the woman’s head and shoulders would have been lit up. The silhouette adds a lot.
A suggestion–perhaps it’s there and I just can’t see it, but a little texture at the top of the tunnel would be great. I like the contrast, but the heavy blackness is almost too much. Perhaps a little dodging would do the trick? Also, this is just me, but I don’t like the tree branch touching her head. I’d photoshop that out of there, but leave the rest. The tree branches extend the arch of the tunnel on to infinity which helps prevent the feeling of walking into a white wall.
Thanks for the opportunity to critique! I learn a lot from the exercise and reading other’s comments helps open my mind.
August 19th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Love the image as well. From black to blown out, suggests movement in the photo, especially with the added bonus of the silhouette at the end of the tunnel, I don’t believe that there is too much of either, as the effect draws you down the tunnel to the focus of the image, the silhouette at the end. Almost a reverse bokeh if there is such a thing, there is enough detail at the end of the tunnel to know that there is something there, but we are not quite sure what it is, is the journey beginning or ending?
Thanks for sharing.
Darrell Vickers, AIA LEED AP (NC)
August 19th, 2009 at 10:58 am
i like the shot but can’t help wondering what it would look like if it was taken from a slightly lower perspective. That, in my opinion would reduce the dark area’s on the top third of the image and the lower angle will give the viewer a different feel.
August 19th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Lots of great feedback both from the official reviewers and those of you who have responded thus far. I’ve learned a lot from everyone. Thanks to everyone, especially Peter, Barry, Jim and Helen (and of course DPS).
Keep the thoughts coming…and be honest. Be blunt if you have to be. I can take criticism, and it only helps myself (and others) to learn. That’s why we’re here, after all….isn’t it?
August 19th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Oops – Sorry for mispelling your name, Barrie.
August 19th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I was expecting a title that hinted at what is at the end of the tunnel – related to its historical significance. Or, somehow relate the picture to the historic significance of the location it was taken.
A square crop leaving out the shutters on the left out of the frame and a slight increase in exposure could of helped. The branch touching the figure definitely has to be removed.
August 19th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
I like the image and would just like to add a comment from a slightly different angle, which is that “lonely journey” is quite an epic title and I don’t think it fits the image. I’m not really a fan of titling atristic images anyway because it can lead to the viewer having a different preconception than the artist intended – so if it was my shot I would have let its quality speak for itself and not given it a title.
August 20th, 2009 at 3:00 am
Texture… I simply love the textures of this photo. Yes, if you go through this (or any photo) inch by inch we can all make suggestion as to areas to burn and dodge, but overall really nice job, Travis.
August 20th, 2009 at 7:37 am
I personally think that the whole theme is trite and pretentious. I’m sorry to be rash and harsh, but I have seen, and personally shot, too many pictures that plays along the same theme of one person in silhouette walking off into the horizon. With that said, I really like how the tones have a proportionally balanced feel. Also the overall offset composition and disjointed horizontal lines of the brick compliments the driving floor lines that connect to the contrasted silhouette against the highlights. overall I think you did a great job on this picture.
August 20th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I am an amateur photographer, just the last 3 years taking pictures. In my point of view this picture is just an ordinary pic. Nothing is special. Sorry for saying that, but all have their own taste on images. Thanks.
August 21st, 2009 at 2:54 am
I suggest cropping the image on the left up to the shutters (adds depth), on the right, an equal crop to left and on the top double the side crops. I then suggest cloning out those tiny white dots in the image and the branch on her head. Also the branches the runs vertical in the end of the tunnel. The two branches that are left give a nice, foreboding feel to a very powerful image. The image also inspires as the lonely women (WWII era?) is moving forward OUT of the darkness into a few entanglements (horizontal branches) but still free of dark, tunnel. I would lighten the image no more than +5, if at all.
August 21st, 2009 at 2:58 am
PS: D T, I have a dream blog for a publication called Creative Loafing here in the US and would love to use this image the next time a female dreamer dreams of loneliness, a journey, depression, etc. Would that be OK with you? Will give photo credit My blog is:
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/velva-lee-heraty-contributor/
August 21st, 2009 at 3:31 am
If the image stays as it is then I am happy with it. I like the sense of voyuerism of the image as it is with the light patches of the shutters and the small patches on the walls creating a distraction from the main subject. The contrast between the light the figure is entering and the tunnel is what makes the picture. However, cropping square to the shutters would make it more dramatic as long as the original is retained. On the whole a powerful image that allows me to tell a story.
August 21st, 2009 at 4:35 am
So many comments about changing the photo. Photograghers…Hmmmm? A photo is not about croping, dodge & brun, or retouching. It is and always will be about telling us story. The best photographs will have a back ground, person/s, symbolism, and involvement. This is a pertect example of a true photograph, it conveys all these requirements into a story the veiwer can readily read. This is very remenisant of Henri Cartier-Bresson’s work. Powerful and thought provoking.
Great work!
August 21st, 2009 at 6:03 am
Reminds me of 1960′s Britain. Dark, damp, cold, where even the sunlight offers little warmth. Where Victorian alleyways meet ‘new’ concrete bollards. Heavy coats, handbags and courtshoes. Very evocative.
Technically, consider cropping out the door at the very left of the photo and a large part of the wall at the right. Display the image in portrait mode. This would lead the eye directly to the subject.
August 21st, 2009 at 6:32 am
this is an ok image, but fairly cliche. there is too much empty area in the upper right. I’m not much of a BW person either; maybe color would help it.
August 21st, 2009 at 6:41 am
clickchick I think you’ll find that’s pretty much what I felt too. Take a look at http://twitpic.com/edhnd which to my eye (compositionally at least) looks so much better. It’s really interesting that such a mundane image can stimulate so much discussion, although I appreciate everyone sees things differently.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:28 am
I like the composition but not the subject matter. Your getting close, and I can see that you can do better.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:08 am
Absolutely amazing composition.. there are 4 different leading lines in the picture. .. only one leading line is pointing to the main subject and all others are actually pointing to the auxillary subject ie., the place where the subject is moving into. Also, i think the women has lift up(hats – off) her leg to walk has added a kind of dynamism to the subject. The left white window curtain adds a beautiful balance to the image with respect to the exposed area where the main subject is moving into. Everywhere, i could see a pattern in this image, be it the bricks arrangement, be it the window curtains.. fully pattern-ised.. It is good to see much of the darkness at the top which actually symbolizes the vast darkness of that area.
Its a beautiful shot.. which does not need any treatment or crop.. absolutely wonderful and amazing composition.. well done..
August 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I find the image very ordinary. No specific point of interest.
August 21st, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I am trying to learn more and more about photography and really enjoy this picture.
What does the picture depict? I have been observing a picture in my doctor’s office over the years (it has not changed). Recently I noticed how it could be interpreted in a number of ways.
And I think that this holds true for this picture also.
Is the person in the picture in a hurry, or perhaps just standing and waiting, perhaps shifting from foot to foot?
And as far as the wall, I think the bright spots on the right give us a better view (a closeup if you will) of the brick.
I would like to take one as nice someday.
Keep up the good work!
August 21st, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I didn’t want to tell anyone too much about the photo, because I wanted to see (test?) how it was perceived. A few of you learned much more about the photo than I would’ve expected. Ric and Aleeya seemed to pull the most accurate story out of the shot. I’m impressed by your abilities to read a photo. That is a skill/talent that will help you the most as a photographer.
So what is the story behind this shot? Truth is that this alley is actually quite historic. This alley is referred to as ‘Franklin Alley’. It connects Market Street Philadelphia with Franklin Court – the former location of Benjamin Franklin’s home back during colonial time and after the revolution. This alleyway – every stone and cobble – is about 260 years old, and Franklin traveled through it many times daily. The shutter on the left was likely replaced over the years, but it is designed to mimic – if not match – the original design. In Philadelphia, shutters on alleyways indicated private alleys, so it was important to me to capture the shutter. Peter Carey really picked up on that aspect. As for the old woman, she most likely works for National Parks and she is dressed in period clothing. She’s carrying a purse, so she’s definitely off the clock – likely traveling home for the day as it’s late afternoon. As for the space in front of her, that is Franklin Court itself. Franklin’s house no longer stands, but National Parks has erected a frame to illustrate it’s location. The entire courtyard is set up as an archeological museum with artifacts and buried walls in cases. If you’re ever in Philadelphia, this is one of the most overlooked historical sites in the city – you should certainly make a point to see it.
Not all of you liked the photograph, and I respect and appreciate your views. I don’t believe that perfection is something that can be fully achieved, but I also believe we should be working towards that unreachable goal. And knowing why you don’t like the photo helps me to improve.
Thanks again to all who have posted comments. I am learning quite a bit.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:31 pm
In response to Peters remark about there being too much clutter at the end of the tunnel, I somewhat agree but I also disagree on certain levels. The branch on the woman’s head I believe needs to be edited out, however I would love to see more detail outside the tunnel, in the form of additional silhouettes. Also, the bit about the shutters/door on the left side, I would suggest instead of burning the photograph that you duplicate the image, select the door and run the shadow/highlights feature of photoshop on it, then opaque to blend.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Judging by the number of response, being able to comment on someone else’s work is something many of us like to do.
I have a few suggestions to make that I think would add even more to the experience.
Personally, I’d like to be given more background on the image in question from the photographer: where it was shot, camera/lens used, what was the thinking behind the picture and what if any corrections/enhancements he/she has subsequently made.
I’d then encourage people to comment but rather than simply give an opinion as to what they might change, allow people to make their suggested changes and post them back (like I did very simply via Twitpic). Everyone could then judge for themselves whether the submitted versions are better or worse than the original.
Ultimately, contributors then vote as to whether any of the ‘revised’ images are actually an improvement on the original and the ‘winning’ image could be declared after a suitable time period, say a week.
By doing this you will create something altogether more compelling and, I think, something that would become quite addictive.
August 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
Gary, That feels too aggressive and intrusive for me, however, it would be cool to have the originator of the image show us his or her revision(s) if any, based on the feedback.
August 22nd, 2009 at 11:40 pm
I like it!
Could be more powerful if the door was not in it, less of the dark top, tone down the opening so some of the journeyed to environment was clearer and maybe bring out the detail of the brick work a bit. A shot I have not thought about before will now be looking for a like opportunity. Thanks
August 23rd, 2009 at 2:12 am
It’s a beautiful photography. But is cropped the left and some of the top it would look much better.
Great job! =)
August 25th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Great photo! I love the feeling and the story it conveys. Felt very historic. Love the black and white. It’s great that you captured the movement of the woman. It’s a great photo the way it is. Too much post processing to make it “perfect” loses something in the art of the photo. The only thing I may try is to crop out the shutters on the left. Otherwise, keep it the way it is!
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